Housework: Whose job?

Not long after we were married we meet a couple whose premise was, "If you are both working fulltime, then $20-$30 a week for sometime to clean your house is not much for the weekend relaxation & peace of mind it gives -- especially for the wife!"  We both thought this was a great idea & although only once in our lives so far have we done this, I must admit, it was really nice when it happened.
As you know I have been thinking a bit lately about productivity & the new role I find myself in as a stay at home Mum.  It is a role & job & I have heard often the classic -- "Mothering is a fulltime 24/7 job, you are a counsellor, teacher, nurse, taxi driver, you do this & that & whatever, lade da de da."  I dont disagree with that but at the same time it makes me cringe because it seems as though it comes from the need to justify your work & make yourself feel a bit better about a job that no one really likes to do.  I wonder if we have our thinking a bit out of whack on this one.
I read this article the other day "Strong marriages depend on dad's involvement with kids and chores."  I enjoyed what it had to say & got me thinking back to paying for a housekeeper if you are working fulltime.  I also was reflecting on another article " Motherhood is a calling & where your children rank"  and although I dont fully agree with everything in either articles it really made me wonder about how we view being a stay at home Mum.
Here's where I am heading...  My job used to be school teaching.  I would be at school from about 8-4 (approx) each day (or the days I worked).  I would sometimes have extra work to do but mostly my job fitted within those hours.  Before & after school my life consisted of pretty normal things such as grocery shopping, cooking & general living stuff.  I would also have hobbies, time with friends, volunteering in the community & down time relaxing.

Said no one ever!

Now I have changed careers -- I am now instead of a school teacher a mother.  I am with my child for about (at the moment) 8-10 or so hours a day (the rest she is sleeping) and in those hours I have differing tasks that need completing & stuff that needs to happen -- that is my job.  It does seem a lot longer hours than I am used to, but like any new job it takes awhile to adjust to & learn the ropes.  The rest of my life should still have the other things in it, like it used to.
My job is not to keep the house clean, or finish all the washing or make sure the loo is cleaned & baking is in the tin -- these are things that I do because it is part of my general living stuff.  If my fulltime job (being a Mum) gets in the way of these things, then maybe we need to look at hiring some one for a few hours a week.
Maybe for some this is no big deal -- but for me this is a new way of thinking, a revelation that has changed the way I perceive what I do.  I hate cleaning & would never voluntarily become a cleaner -- and being a stay at home Mum is not that -- I am a mother -- that is my role/job.  I find this rather freeing & helps me to see my day in a different light.  And just in case you are wondering -- I love my new job :-)
Well that's what I reckon -- what do you think?

Housework: Whose job?

Eclectic Links

Another lot of random links coming your way.
With cleaning out my closet & selling extra stuff around the house, it seems to have a "de-clutter" theme this week!

1.  Living with less
Getting more stuff means you need more stuff & more problems -- this guy learnt this in an interesting way!

2.  Getting rid of 6 things
Keeping on this same topic, this article has some interesting points -- not sure if I could get rid of these 6 things but how did we ever live without these only about 10 years ago??

3.  The Taco is Amazing
Another interesting post from Jamie -- we often need to loosen our grip on life -- I like that! :-)

4.  I don't wait anymore
Interesting angle on purity... "When I was 16, I got a purity ring.  And when I was 25, I took it off."  

5.  Book Depository -- free delivery worldwide!
I am an affiliate of the Book Depository, so if you are thinking about buying any books online -- they are having a big sale this coming week & if you click through to their site from this blog then whatever you purchase gives me a commission! That's nice of you -- thanks :-)

6.  Bible v Cellphone
I stole this from someone's status on Facebook, because I thought it was really good: 
Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone? 
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets? 
What if we flipped through it several time a day? 
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text? 
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go....hmm...where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
Makes you stop and think 'where are my priorities?' And no dropped calls!

7.  Three things I would like to make... & one crazy video

These are yummy!

Very cool fire pit :-)

I think I might have to learn to crochet

Eclectic Links

Today's score

Well today's productivity score (see last post for reference) would probably be a 4/10 based on external factors! After a 3:30am wakeup that never really ended (unusual fro Gabriella) there has not been a lot of energy or excitement about today! On my to-do list was the sheets, baby's washing, finish painting the bookcase, plunket visit & make more of baby's food -- of which I have accomplished two!
I am wondering if our minds/society/education & schooling have us so hard wired into extrinsic or external benefits.  I do a job because I get paid or because someone can notice it & pat me on the back.  Doing stuff for only intrinsic or long term gain is that much harder to get motivated for.
I'm still in the process of trying to figure out a new way of scoring productivity -- any ideas?  
Also thought about what our society & culture has as expectations toward mothers -- I am interested in studying this a bit more as to why so many mothers I have talked to over the space of my adult life & how many blogs & facebook followers that are mothers who struggle with the baby/toddler years & being "stuck at home."  Has this been the case for other generations & cultures? What do we as a community & culture expect that produces these frustrations?
On the video I blogged yesterday talked about feeling isolated.  Yesterday for me I spent the day with people coming in & out of our home, feeding & hosting them, chilling around the fire (or heating up actually) and just spending some good quality time.  It felt good and although I wouldnt want that all day every day, I wonder if we as a society have walled ourselves off from normal "village" life.  Part of me would love the community & relationships that develop from living in a commune, marae, village or extended family situation.
Be interested in your thoughts...leave a comment if you wish :-)

While you are thinking about it have a look at this for a laugh

Today's score

The productivity curse

There is no preparation for being a stay at home Mum.  It is something I have always wanted to be & so thankful that I can now be one.  But the reality is so very different from the ideal (another post brewing on this particular topic -- watch this space).
I have at other times in my life not been able to get a job, or only worked part-time but all of these have been short-lived & I have filled the time in many differing ways.
I'm not saying that now I am a stay at home Mum that I have oodles (love that word) of time on my hands, but I do find myself stuck in a "productivity" mindset.  I have always been a " to do list" kind of person, so nothing has changed there, but now that I am scraping the barrel on my list & the jobs are getting less & less interesting, challenging, or desirable (ie stuff I just keep putting off but needs to be done -- such as sorting out the photo albums!) my days are getting to become rather routine & boring!
Here's a great video that addresses all of that...
I love to be creative, to be busy & do stuff.  I love to re-engineer situations & make chaos into order.  This satisfies me & makes me feel "productive." If my day consists of washing, fiddling on the computer, cooking, feeding & not much else (often because I don't feel like doing much else) then I have to deal with my thought processes of not being productive.  Maybe this is an overly strong work ethic (hmm on second thoughts, I don't think I have that disease!) or the way I was bought up (idle hands create mischief) or a case of listening to myself instead of talking to myself, but maybe also I need to define what "productive" is so the guilts don't kick in & each day can be a productive day for me.

pro·duc·tiv·i·ty

  [proh-duhk-tiv-i-tee, prod-uhk‐]  Show IPA

noun

1.

the quality, state, or fact of being able to generate, create, enhance, or bring forth goods and services: The productivity of the group's effort surprised everyone.

2.

Economics . the rate at which goods and services having exchange value are brought forth or produced: Productivity increased dramatically last year.   

When I use this definition I don't feel like most days are productive.  When I searched the internet & found "7 drivers of workplace productivity"  the seventh one really struck a chord with me.  It was "measuring what matters."  Re-defining productive as measuring what matters I think is a great revelation to help me see each day as productive.

So what does matter?
1.  My baby is feed, happy, loved, trained, clean, extended, provided for & safe.
2.  Our home is clean, happy, welcoming, mostly tidy, warm & safe.
3.  Our marriage is feed, nurtured, not taken for granted & fun.
4.  I have some creative outlets that extend my brain & I have some thing to show for it.

I dunno, have I missed something?  Am I on the right track?  Will this redefinition actually help me to see things in a different light?  Can I turn this into a to-do list so I can visually cross things off?

Does productivity need to be measured in "what did you do today?"  Do productive things show up over time rather than in day increments?  Does productivity have to be seen?

 Is life made up of doing small things & hard things?

The productivity curse

Eclectic Links

1.  Was interested in reading this column in our local paper this week -- the breakfast (or food in schools) debate has me in two minds & I thought this guy addressed it well.  It also got me thinking about maybe re-training as a social worker...I know I think about re-training as something every year but ya never know...

2.  I have spent a bit of time working on the camp website updating the banner & logo and style.  I'm not yet 100% happy with it, but it is lots better than it was.  You can check it out here...www.lonsdalechildren.blogspot.com 

3.  I fell down the stairs on Monday -- was really sore -- but thankfully only hurt my ankle & got a huge bruise on my thigh!  Been putting RealDealHurtCream on it & has started to heal up really well.  Could have been so much worse.

4.  This is a fascinating article about what the Finnish government give each expecting mother.  It would be cool to plot the contents in image form & discuss the ideology over time.  

5.  McDonalds has failed in Bolivia because their idea of food is that it is slowly & lovingly made! Awesome :-)

6. Colin Meads who received a Queens Bday honour offers young 5 life lessons.  I especially like his first & last one -- some good advice.  

7.  A few funny you tube videos to finish the week off...

It's not about the nail 

NZ TV Advertisement featuring one of my students from last year

Makes you think about "short term missions" Helping Africa?

Eclectic Links

My thoughts

Today I look back & choose thankfulness...
Gods faithfulness & love
The direction & choices my life has taken
My life partner -- our children
Gods blessing
Our health & wealth
Passion & vision

I look forward & choose increase...
In Gods work
In our family
In our influence -- salt & light
In our intentional living 
In our marriage 
In the impossible 

I pause now to enjoy the small things that are the sum of fruitfulness...

For its in the little parts, the moments, the every day mundane things that our course is continually set, our attitude developed & sails trimmed as we journey through life.
Choosing to pause & enjoy the small things which are the sum of fruitfulness, rather than looking for the next thing or thrill -- life is good NOW!
In all of our insignificance, we & all we do plays a significant part in the whole picture -- life in PERSPECTIVE. 
We build precept upon precept & day upon day as we choose. Each time the choice makes a mark & moves us more toward the outcome -- life is INTENTIONAL. 
Choose the outcome but also choose each day to live in the light of the goal. With both things held in tension the small affects the big & the big affects the small. Little becomes big, big is broken down into little. All of it is a choice through which the impossible can be achieved. 
Life is a CHOICE -- to enjoy & make the most of :-)

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." -- Robert Brault

My thoughts

4-6 months

Preparing for camp, camp & the aftermath of camp! Plus a visit from the Deacons over Easter. Gabriella started sleeping in her own bed for both day & night time sleeps.  She has started solids, and is now down to only 2 & a half  sleeps during the day time.

She can pretty much sit up by herself, although the rolling isn't really established.  She is talking & smiling a lot & shadows fascinate her. Random :-)  Her giggle is pretty cool too :-)

4-6 months

Some new ideas & hobbies

Well with our last camp done & dusted, my  "to-do list" has definitely dwindled down to just stuff that is on there but I don't really want or is pressing to do!
So with the weather getting colder, the fire more frequent I think its time I selected some more hobbies to keep me from getting bored & annoying the whole world! (O and also spending money online shopping!)

So I think I will take up knitting -- no don't laugh I'm serious!  It seems that everyone I see knitting just does it while life happens around them & then you have this cool thing done before you even know it!  Plus I believe in the power of wool & if I make stuff for Gabby it is small & shouldn't take me so long.  Well that's my logic anyway!
I wonder if I should start with something like this...

The other thing I want to start is playing the ukulele.  Irene gave one to Gabriella the other day at cell group & she was fascinated by it.  So the next day I got our one out & thought that I should really learn to play this thing -- how hard can it be.  So the race is on now, will I master 3 chords & a few songs before Gabby or will she beat me to it?

Any patterns or tips to help me in these endeavours would be much appreciated :-)

Some new ideas & hobbies

3rd month

By now we had established a pretty good routine.  Gabriella was sleeping through the night mostly & I kinda had an idea of what to expect.  She was wanting to play with toys & even started "talking."
We enjoyed a trip to Oponoui for our family reunion & lots of catching up around home.

3rd month

2nd month

This began on a trip to Auckland for Xmas with my family & then on to Taupo to be with the MCDougalls & the Deacons, then via Tauranga & back home.  We also went to camp for a week, and had a weekend away in Taupo Bay.  A great busy summer :-)

2nd month

Our first month

It was good to be home.  We had lots of visitors, recovered pretty well from the ordeal in hospital.  Still had numbness around my hips.  It was a great time just hanging out with baby & Jon was home a lot from work too.

Our first month

Farewell Ukraine

Our last few days here, the house is mostly packed, we probably have more than 20kg in our bags, and the fridges & cupboards are looking rather bare!
The last 3 weeks have been mainly really enjoyable.  We have spent time with different people over for dinner, enjoying the view off our deck, made the last few pieces of furniture for our lounge, had our big farewell Hangi party, a emotional send-off from church, and now the last few days of packing etc.

The Hangi was a great success -- started with our friends from Kaitaia, New Zealand (Matt & Andy Dow) making it here as a stop on their Europe bike tour.  It was a special twist, and cool to catch up.  They helped us get stuff ready, and as the weekend wore on we had more people arrive, turn up and help us to peel, prepare food and get the fire going.  I think it would have been the biggest Hanig ever in Ukraine, and the first one I was ever in charge of.  We put 10kg of pork & 10 chickens in, heaps of spuds, some sweet potatoes (expensive, but we found some here) carrots & a special pumpkin that one of my students had grown with seeds from Australia!  I made about 4 batches of Maori bread, 20 litres of ginger beer.

We had the band stuff set up on our deck, the Christmas lights out, tables, gazebos and chairs & the backyard looked awesome!  With about 70 people here, the Hangi was ready to pull up.. It was done to perfection!  I had taken the liberty to give it a spice twist, and put garlic, onion & other spices at the bottom of the baskets to aroma the whole meal.  Everyone loved it, and most of it was eaten!  Matt, Andy Jon & Jono performed the Haka, (watch it here on youtube) and some other Maori songs, including teaching everyone the stick game.

We also had other live music, and as the night wore on, lit the fire and chilled out.  It was such a special night...and a cool way to say goodbye to all our good friends over here.

Last leg now through Dubai & India, then landing in the land of the long white cloud September 14th. The next part of our journey awaits us... :-)

Farewell Ukraine

New Lifestyle Choices

We have been thinking a lot lately about lifestyle changes and choices, so our life reflects intention and direction. We have already started with food and attempting to eat a more healthier, whole food diet.  Now that we are going back to NZ we have also started to think about our time and work choices.  Here is what we have drafted up, I'm sure there will be some tweaking as we start to work it out, but basically we want to intentionally make time for the things you never seem to have time for. We are hoping our week might look like this...

20 hours -- paid work

10 hours -- community work
Volunteer, does not benefit us
Youth, social justice, camps, practical stuff etc

10 hours -- study/up-skilling/reading
Jon--  Music, Bible, Maori
Ruth-- Food/cooking, woodwork, Maori, drums

10 hours -- garden & maintenance
Vege garden, self-sufficiency, caring for our space

10 hours -- exercise
Volleyball, squash, touch, running, softball?

Basically works out to be 1.5 hours a day of each thing  (except work = 4 hours a day, but not Sat)

Sunday = day of rest & family time

New Lifestyle Choices

Busy

It has been awhile...and my excuse is that I have been busy.  With what you may ask?
Setting up camp on an island in the river
Being at camp (on an island in the river) for a week
Recovering from being at camp (on an island in the river) for a week
My sister & her family then came for 10 days -- we did heaps of stuff with them, including...
--the Aquapark
--back to the island for a day
--sightseeing in Kiev
--practice Hangi (see next blog for more details)
--outdoor Ukraine museum
--played in a cricket game

They have just left last week, and we are escaping the heatwave we have at the moment (35+ degrees) by doing not much.
You can catch all of other news and photos at our TEAM PIRINI blogspot

Busy

5th July

Yesterday was American Independence Day...like I really care, but the 4th July is kind of a date you remember.  However, today (5th July) is now a momentous day too.  A lot of things happened today, and they are on a continuum between boring & mundane to life changing.  See if you can figure out where each of these things fit on that line!
Here is the list...
Had a shower

Washed the car
Baked blueberry muffins
Had a green smoothie
Helped my brother put his boat in the water with a new motor
Shaved Jono's hair -- to raise $200 for the new motor
Had ice cream & fresh berries for dessert
Used my new slow cooker for a yummy dinner
AND MY BROTHER GOT ENGAGED!! Wahoo, he is finally getting married and we lost the race between us having children before he got married...well we might still have time I suppose, they haven't set a date yet :-)
We hope they will be very happy and that they will be a great team together.

5th July

New Blog

I have been blogging lately about food, weight, faith, environmental issues & social justice.  Because of the plethora of documentaries, links and other information, I have started another blog called Everyday Faith dedicated to the issues, resolutions, and links toward a more authentic lifestyle.  The question I am asking myself is...Is my faith a core part of my life or an appendage?
Check it out for more info or RSS to keep up with my journey...www.everdayfaith.blogspot.com

New Blog

New addition...

Although we are still waiting to say those words in a very real sense about our family...yesterday our cat Dumpy had 2 little kittens.  They are very cute, small and I think good-looking.  With the help of one of my students we have named them Hank & Felix.  Dumpy is coping well as a Mum considering she is not much more than a kitten herself!  And I was very relieved she had them in the prepared box, as opposed to behind the couch or some other strange place! Before we leave in September we are wanting to give both the kittens & Dumpy to good home(s).  

New addition...

My brother is an angel??

Last night we had a few friends over for dinner and a movie.  It was a nice evening so we sat out on the deck.  

Then we decided it was time to kick a ball around -- although the rugby ball was flat, and we couldn't find the pump, so cricket it was.  I quickly got the jigsaw out and rustled up a bat out of scrap wood -- it worked ok, but I think we should really buy one!  Max & Cheryl who hadn't played before were outstanding, and even our cats got in on the action chasing the ball.  The pitch and grounds needed a bit more work, and Jon definitely heard about how good his "bunker" was.  (He has since gone & evened out a lot of the lawn today) Gaven was most upset I took a great catch and got him out, and as it got darker and we struggled to see, it looks as though an angel came to help us!! 

My brother is an angel??

Anticipation

We have booked our tickets (click here for our itinerary) back to NZ and leave in just over 4 months.
As I start thinking about it here's my top ten things that I am looking forward to...
*running
*playing touch rugby
*seeing family & friends
*drinking Ginger beer & LLB's
*roast lamb, corned beef & feijoas
*driving
*understanding everbody
*the ocean
*trademe
*singing at church in English

Anticipation

Coming Home

Here's our basic itinerary...

3 Sept -leave Kiev
4 Sept -Abu Dhabi
5-6 Sept -Delhi
7-12 Sept -Bangalore
13 Sept -Singapore
14 Sept -arrive Auckland

We aim to spend a week in Auckland with my parents, buying a car, doctors and other stuff.
Then 7-10 days in Tauranga catching up with friends.
End of Sept we will head up north to Jon's family and base ourselves there until...?

Coming Home