15 August 2013

Coping, adjusting & living

It has been a week now since we arrived back into the country.  It has really taken me awhile to adjust, not only physically (jet lag & tiredness) but also culturally & emotionally.  It seems strange.  Life seems weird.  It also seems kinda boring, yet un-doable, same old boring yet really busy.  I can't really put my finger on it just yet, but there is a restlessness -- a wanting more, unsatisfied with now. But maybe my call for now is to enjoy life fully in the present & for me to be the change.  That's my challenge & taking one day at a time...each step the light for my path comes with me & I know that God will reveal where & what to next as He wishes.
Two posts that I have read today really hit the spot.  The first "When feeling overwhelmed doesnt go away".  I really liked this bit:
Perhaps one of the greatest hindrances to our contentment is the expectation that life ought to be easy.
He is not looking to WHEN to have joy in the circumstances, but WHO to go to in the midst of them.

Life isnt easy -- get over it! And enjoy!

Then the next post was "How to have the best Birthday, the best today, the best any day".
And although this is long & about the authors birthday challenge, the bit I liked was:

It takes ridiculous courage to reach out of your comfort zone.
And then you might catch his eye and say — What if the truth is: every comfort zone is really a death trap.”
That every comfort zone is the zone where you get comfortably cooked. That every comfort zone is where you’re the proverbial frog slowly cooked to death in oh, such comfortable water.
Get out of your comfort zone to comfort others — and the Comforter meets you there with more comfort than you can imagine.   

Food for thought...

10 August 2013

Life & Sudoku

As I pondered the fact that it is annoying to have more questions than answers Jay commented to me that sometimes it feels as though your life is like a game of sudoku. 

I enjoy playing sudoku & I even more enjoy beating Jon while playing (we used to have timed games & see who could complete it the fastest!) even though it is a game of logic & generally I sux at anything logical. (Secretly I think I'm quite a logical person but that it just takes me some out loud crazy thoughts to get to the right logical conclusion!)

Sudoku by logical deduction & reasoning allows you to place numbers in little boxes. Similarly it feels as though our life is often like that. Some numbers (or decisions) are obvious by way of elimination yet others require previous numbers to fall into place first before you are able to see where they go. Others require a whole lot more thought process and often by a huge amount of deduction, reasoning and differing  perspective are you then able to place a key number which helps the rest all fall into place. Sometimes too you are fairly certain that you have a choice of just 2 options for one box but again you are waiting on other situations to help clear up which of those two is right. 

As we have taken 6 weeks to go back to Ukraine & assess our life there it seems we have come back with some numbers sorted out but with a lot more question marks or possibilities in other squares. It seems as though now it is a waiting game & seeing how God guides & moves other boxes around as to the certainty of the next number which in turn will bring other things clearer & more sure. 

Sudoku is not subjective -- there is only one right answer for each box. Sometimes you wish life would be like that -- an absolute for each decision -- but who really wants to be a square person with numbers all in the right sequence?


1 August 2013

Change & moving

These past few weeks have been rather emotional as we have been back in our house here in Ukraine. It has been hard but good, sad yet happy. We had heard of brokenness & victories. Life has moved on for us & people we know here (that is normal!)
As we near the end of our time here we have been trying to reflect of what God wants us to do.
Should we try to sell the house? Do we want to move back here? What is a call? How are missionaries effective? We have had lots of discussions with many people & our brains are full with conflicting thoughts.
Today bought some clarity for me. As I was listening to the Audio Adrenaline song
"He moves, you move" it started to get me thinking...
We need to wait for God to move. The last instruction we had received was to go home & have kids. We have not yet received any other or the next instruction. The pillar of fire is still above this house in Ukraine & in NZ. We are waiting & still fulfilling the last instruction.
While we wait we need to be busy carrying on with life & learning & growing & making the most of every opportunity. Not waiting & wasting but waiting & growing.
Conclusions while here:
1.  Back to NZ for another term (2-3 years)
2.  Most probably not back to serve in Rzhyshchiv
3.  Need to have project (most probably linked with camping) to come back to.
Although many things seem to be still up in the air, this small seed has given me some sort of hope that we are on the right track -- we don't need to see the full path ahead -- just trusting one step at a time.
God gives us light enough to guide our way not a massive spotlight to reveal to the end of time -- kinda glad about that!